I was frozen for a while.
Frozen in time
Frozen in mind
Past: I remember none
Present: Well, I am lost in time and space
Future: What do I care for? Happy-go-lucky
Sometimes I just try to conjure up some words,
Like a sorcerer trying to caste some spell.
I try to form a sentence so as to engender a story.
All of sudden I realize that I have become laconic.
May be words were lost in that skirmish.
Or so I assume.
When did I lose a part of me?
I don’t remember anything.
The wound heals but the scar remains.
As Eddie Vedder says in his song, “Guarantee”-
“Got a mind full of questions”
I am shrouded by the blizzard of queries.
~ How does it feel to conflict within you one moment
And throw a smile to the person sitting next to you the other moment?
Can you calm that storm within the fraction of second?
How does it feel to nurture the demon inside your head
And then be an altruist?
How do you keep your demons at bay?
How does it feel to be lying in a dungeon of trauma
And pretend to be flying?
How do you free your spirit?
How does it feel to know all that you once believed was a lie? ~
The song “Guarantee” continues-
“And a teacher in my soul”
As of late,
My soul is trying to teach me something.
~ Skepticism has been my religion.
Life is but a mere lie
We are gladly living a lie
I lie about conflicting
I lie about peace
I lie about being a demon
I lie about altruism
I lie about trauma
I lie about freedom
I might even lie about living in darkness when I have found light
I might pretend to be holy when I have basked in obscenity ~
Don’t believe me
Because I don’t believe you either